I can’t shake this feeling that I am at some sort of cross roads.

No doubt it is simply due to the changes at work and the past couple of months spent working in offices that are being permanently closed.

The constant negativity from customers is certainly enough to get a person thinking that it is time to make a complete change.

And yet, I still enjoy my work.

The stress of it all has started to manifest physically.  Last week, zit explosion, and then yesterday I woke up with a ripper of a head cold, something I haven’t had for a couple of years.

The weather has been a little dismal too.  Winter has arrived with a good dose of rain and cold and combining to make me want to simply crawl back into bed, pull the covers over my head and not come out until September.

But life goes on, and armed with my cold and flu drugs, i will be out the door this afternoon and back on the counter dealing with all the “why”s and the “That’s awful”s.

There was a job though, that I was really tempted to apply for.  I was dithering, and my loved ones told me to have a crack and I very nearly did.

A promotion, more hours,  a new location and plenty of challenges.

What wasn’t mentioned though in the job ad was the start times…4.30 am Mondays, and 5 am the rest of the week.

Yeah, nah, …not that interested, so I think I wont waste anybody’s time and give that one a miss.

Some of you might be wondering about the art.  Especially as my sporadic posting recently has hardly mentioned it.

Last class tomorrow night and then I am finished with that school.

Sad to be leaving my mates, but I am over the management and their quirks and the whole second term of abstracts was simply the nail in the coffin.

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After the “Paper Boy” which is a great painting (if I say so myself) we had to do an abstracted still life of cups.

That poor canvas suffered three attempts before I finally called “enough”

Surprisingly, someone liked it and we came to a great arrangement/trade and while she is happy, I still think I came out better off.

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The final project was to be done in the style of some joker by the name of Conrad Marca-relli.

More abstract with the addition of collage.

First thought “UGH”

Not a fan of his work from that what I have seen, but I cut, and pasted and painted.

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We again got told to use a limited palette of colours that were chosen for us.  Again directed to choose from certain shapes -this time 50’s & 60’s furniture  (WTF????)

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The end result, well, all I can say is “meh”

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And for the final week, I plan to work on my own thing.

A night time cityscape, something I have wanted to try for a while but have been stuck messing with these ridiculous class projects.

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Just working on the night sky to begin with.  I will get those buildings in later.

So that is where my life is at the moment.

Doors are closing,  offices too.  Next week will be a new location, still unknown and Tuesday night will be home, most likely anyway.

Despite the job not being quite what I was hoping it would be, there will be other opportunities to stretch my wings,  I am sure.

For now though, I just need to take those cold and flu drugs, pack my box of tissues, plaster a smile on my face and get on with my day.

And look forward to whatever adventures life throws at me.

13 thoughts on “Decisions”

  1. I am sure you will come across something that will tickle your fancy more than getting up in the middle of the night (yikes!). Sorry to hear the new office isn’t what you had hoped. It’s always a bit tough when you feel like your at a crossroads.

  2. I think art is something that has to come from within you. The outside world might suggest or constrain, but if you’re not feeling it inside then move on and find something that does speak to you.

  3. Arrrrrggghhhhh STRESS! Sorry to hear you are under the weather….I am too….Throat feels like I have swallowed razors…….This weather is not helping….:(

    The changes and the uncertainty is also a huge stress factor. You will find that once you are settled into the new environment things will get better.

    4 and 5 am starts are a killer, but you do get use to it. Means early to bed though. Would you have finished early too? 11am ish? The Saturday morning where I do that is actually not too bad. Going to bed is the hardest part. But once you are up and showered, the morning goes quickly, then you have the whole day ahead to do what you need too.

    I think you have learnt a lot with your art class, and it will be lovely to see what you paint now from the heart , and what you feel. I have never been a huge fan of abstract art. I understand your reasons for dropping the class. I hope that painting becomes enjoyable again for you.

    Now go pop an onion by your beside table, and get a good nights sleep. The zits will heal, and the head cold will pass. Drink lots of honey lemon tea, and trust that all will be OK. :)

  4. It’s a shame the class wasn’t quite what you expected it to be. It challenged you in ways though, so it can’t have been all that bad. I’m sorry to hear about your work situation. I would suggest sticking it out as best as you can until something new comes along, that you actually feel good applying for. Unless you have a lot of savings, it’s rarely worth leaving a job before getting a new one.

  5. *Hugs*
    I do have to agree with you on abstract. ‘Meh’ indeed. Some of it can be interesting/appealing to me, but usually I’m scratching my head and going “what the…?”.
    Sorry you’re feeling under the weather. Hope you’re feeling better soon.

  6. Well, I learned the hard way that stress can do odd things to you. Thought patterns that are the norm begin to break down, emotions escape control, and then there’s that damn vein on the left side of my head. I think I see now, I just wasn’t letting anything go. It wasn’t really the job, because I like it. Now, the old job…. all I see is a string of dates and times that I say, “THAT’S when I shoulda quit.” Now if you are in the first, then you have to work on yourself. If the second, then take the next train out and DO NOT talk yourself out of it. Don’t let the crappy part of life take advantage of you like I did for way too long.

  7. Constant changes & uncertainty – especially in the workplace – make me twitchy. At least, you’re facing it all with a positive attitude. That’s most of the battle already won, I think. Hope you feel better soon.

  8. Granny said change is a good thing and I’ve found it to be true. HOWEVER, I turned down several jobs and substantial raises to NOT have to get up early enough to work 4:00 am to 9:00 am jobs. I’d rather work jobs that had me on 24-hour call, but made my schedule. And that is what I did for most of my career. As to the art… I love the Paper Boy, the second one would be perfect in a coffee shop or cafe, the third one eventually found its way. It is very colorful and whimsical (to me), based on your drawing, I’m betting the last one is going to be very good. Hang in there try to stay warm and well.

  9. I hear you. I’m going through a big change, too. Not sure what direction I’m heading yet, but I’m a heck of a lot happier than I was when I was working at my horrible job!

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